Happy Holidays!

To all who read my blog, and those who find me by chance:

Santa and Rudolph courtesy of Microsoft ClipArt

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! And, may the New Year be the best ever for you and yours!

Barb in the Sierra Foothills

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I Love the Holidays…

I love this time of year! I love the decorations, the lights, and giving to those who mean something to me in my life! And I love all the Christmas movies! They are about love and what can be better than focusing on love? Love for your spouse, or potential spouse, family, friends, and the love for others you might not know. This time of year gives me very warm feelings about life and love, caring and sharing, and this is what I truly love about the holiday season!

We have decorated our house. At least on the outside! I threw my back out this weekend. We were to do the inside. With my limited mobility, and I am better than I was, and we will be giving this a go later in the week!

Our Christmas decorations in 2007:

Xmas at our house in 2007

And our lights in 2011:

Christmas 2011

My favorite holiday movies: Miracle on 34th Street with Natalie Wood; The Santa Clause with Tim Allen; Scrooged with Bill Murray; and, It’s a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

Happy holidays to everyone! And may the Upcoming New Year be blessed for you all!

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Christmas Catalog Must Haves?

Yes–this is another commentary on those catalogs which, by the way, multiply like bunny rabbits the closer we get to Christmas. I had ten delivered yesterday. All the items below are from one catalog. What has me shaking my head on these items is this: What has happened to society that all of these items are something you would need to buy? Some think they are funny and cool; others think, I need this. What is funny and cool, or that one just needs, is a commentary on our society. All I ask is that you think about what these items say about society today.

Item #1 – “Pootin’ Tootin’ Obama Doll – Here is a doll that replicates the President of the United States, I believe I read recently, the most powerful person in the world, that if you pull the finger of the doll it recites, “Now that’s what I call a weapon of mass destruction!” Yours for only $27.96, not including tax.

Item #2 – “Tactical Gals 2012 Calendar” – Not a calendar that supports our troops, but one that features scantily clad women, mind you not in military garb, bearing arms. $19.95, not including tax.

Item #3 – Poop Soap – Yeah, this one has been around for years. I think they used this in a film…wasn’t it Caddy Shack?…Well anyway, you have your choice, yes a choice, of either “plain” or “corn.” Hmm…Price? $14.96 for one bar not including sales tax.

Item #4 – “Santa Takes a Dump Down the Chimney” Yes, here is Santa, bare-ass on a chimney, and he can be yours for $22.98.

Item #5 – “Fast Finish Techniques From World Famous Street Fighters.” For a mere $69.98, plus shipping and handling of $11.50, not including tax, this is the DVD for you. This items cost does not include attorney’s fees, jail time and court costs when you have “finished” someone off. $33.98.

Item #6 – This one goes with the one above. “Steel Shot Knuckle Gloves.” Price? $33.96 not including tax, attorney fees, jail time and court costs.

Item #7 – “Doody Head” – Yes, here is a game, for you and your kids to play, where you throw an artificial piece of “doody” at each others heads! $19.98 not including the costs for committing assault and battery.

Item #8 – “Booby Bongos!” Play with your own set of bongos! No specific size, so I guess one size fits all on this one. Cost: $53.96 not including sales tax.

Item #9 – The “Ass Tray.” Guess where you put your butt? $12.96 before tax.

Item #10 – “Kill Moves DVD.” $81.48 not including court costs, jail time and attorney fees.

Item #11 – “Bad to the Bone Santa.” Santa’s hat is where? He sways his hips to the music of “Bad to the Bone.” Grown women will “blush and squeal with laughter.” Cost: $34.94, before tax. Maybe that is something to squeal at!

What do these items say to you?

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Christmas is Coming!

Every year I find myself inundated with catalogs wanting to sell me the cutesy, or not so cutesy, stuff they think that I need to buy for Christmas. Do I want any of these things? No. Even though I have not ordered anything, I still get the multitude of catalogs that are to me a waste of paper, postage, and printing costs. Here are some of the pickings that you might want to consider purchasing…according to the catalogs.

Top features this holiday season are from a number of catalogs. And the winners of this year’s what I don’t want and what I don’t want to give are:

**The sign with a little girl’s photo, black and white with a red rose, that reads “my face hurts, from pretending to like you.” Enough said. Price…$69 plus tax and shipping.

**Something I really need to have, or someone I know needs to have, according to the catalog, which will make me or them want to travel more are the $22 a pair luggage tags. Yes! They feature retro musings! One is: “We all have our baggage!” and the other reads, “I love not camping.” Oh, jumping jimminy! I want to travel around the world just to show off these luggage tags! Is this item related to the company that makes the restless leg syndrome drug that makes one want to gamble? How much will the travel cost for me to show off my $22 tags?

**For women only: Would you pay $23 for a case to carry tampons in? Well, that is what one catalog is charging for a tampon carrying case with a photo on it of a good looking guy on it that reads, “if there is a god, please let this guy be my ob/gyn.” This statement is how it appears on the tampon carrying case. Gee–I remember those days of carrying these puppies around, and I remember getting a plastic case in my 40 pack of tampons for free. Do I need this? No. Do I want to give this as a gift for Christmas? I don’t think so.

**The Christmas Pickle – Have you ever heard of that? This was a tradition in Germany where parents would hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. Well, someone is selling you the pickle. The cost? $9.00. Hmmm…how much does a jar of pickles cost? This does not include shipping, handling and tax. Add your sales tax and $5.99 for shipping.

**How about a sign that reads, “Well, today was a total waste of makeup!” I know that my girlfriends are just dying for me to give this sign to them that reminds them of all the Murphy’s Law days that they have had. Today I can buy this item for the low cost of $13 plus $6 in shipping. Note that this does not include sales tax and the cost of losing a good friend.

**What do you think when someone gives you bath soap or scented oils for the holidays? My thought: What? Do you think I need a bath or that I smell bad? Well, for a measly $28 you can give to someone a 3 bar pack of lavender soap that will soothe and soften the wrinkles of the skin. What?!? Don’t forget the sales tax, and the shipping charges of $7.99, unless you want to personalize the set for an additional $30.

**The Knife Handler. What is this, you ask? It is a figure of a person that holds your knives. Yes, it comes with a 15″ figure of a person and you can “stab” out your aggressions when replacing the knives in the body of the figure! Cindy – maybe another Dying for novel? This comes with a 8″ chef knife, 8″ bread knife, 8″ carver, 5″ utility knife and a 3 1/2″ paring knife. Yours for only $99 plus $14 in shipping and does not include attorney’s fees and court costs.

I simply must stop here, however, I do have the best of the lot to share. It is noted below. Nothing, and I mean nothing can be said after this one, so I close here with this parting item.

**Hand Sanitizer. Yes, and it is a very special one too and one that you definitely want to buy for someone you never intend on speaking to again. This bottle of 2 ounce hand sanitizer reads: “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer.” The description: “Spread the love, not the germs.” This product can be yours for the low price of $8 plus shipping/handling and tax. Enough said!

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